Category: Entertainment

Entertainment

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Random Internet Awesomeness: Unicorn Mask Customer Reviews

A Unicorn Mask, presumably worn by an adult male

After reading a story about how 'unicorning' is going to become the new 'planking' or 'Tebowing,' I decided to see how much it would set me back to get in on this sweet Internet memeage.

I got so much more than I could have dreamed of.

Here's an excerpt from one of the Amazon customer reviews for the mask they sell (presumably, these are written by grown-ups who pay taxes and shave certain parts of their body:

I'm going to be honest, I have tried several different unicorn masks in the past. I have about 6 masks from various retailers around the internet and I've gotta say, this is the right one for me. When I put it on, I feel the rush of pretending I am a real-life unicorn! It is so realistically styled that there's a connection I feel deep inside when I put it on.

Here's another (again, presumably, another adult human being):

As others have said, this IS a magical mask. There's simply no disputing that. The other day, when i picked up my daughter from school wearing the mask, the look on the faces of her classmates left no doubt that they had been touched by its magic. It's not every day you see a unicorn at a community college, after all.

I encourage you to read the rest at the link above;)

So, whenever you begin to feel like you're not making a difference in the world, take refuge in the idea that someone else is contributing less to the advancement of the species.

BTW, I never imagined covering topics like this on my blog. You've just witnessed an Internet first.

 

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Persecution Schtick Makes Christians Look Like Dopes – @TheIRD

A screen-grab from the 'Fortnight for Freedom' website

A screen-grab from the ‘Fortnight for Freedom’ website

 

If it weren’t for @TheIRD, I would have no idea what the above event is.  I’m talking about Fortnight for Freedom – an effort by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops to bring attention to what they feel is a war on religious liberty.

There is, of course, no war.

At all.

It.

Doesn’t.

Exist.

That hasn’t stopped the USCCB from creating this event from whole cloth.  What is it?  It’s a two week event that begins today, and ends on July 4th – which isn’t heavy-handed in the least.

Independence Day.  Get it?

What does @TheIRD have to do with it?  Nothing.  They just featured a blog post from one of their interns about it.  The thing is, @TheIRD uses any excuse to add another layer to the myth – yes, myth – that religious liberty in this country is under attack.

It has become no more than a schtick to them – or any of their ilk.  The phony cries of a “war on religious liberty” are more often fundraising pleas, than actual concern for actual instances of incursions on those who seek religious liberty.

Whenever some semi-prominent religious person is shouted down by someone with a differing opinion – or some small town nativity scene is forced to move from city hall to the church grounds – certain Christians hit the airwaves to cry foul.

It also doesn’t help that pompous media figures posing as journalists bring the offended parties on their FOX News shows and ask questions to get answers that aren’t actual journalism – but shilling to a particular population subset.

Why does this persecution schtick make us look like dopes?

This story from Patheos recounts 6 recent stories of actual persecution against Christians in portions of the world where Christians face actual opposition.

American Christians are so spoiled and weak.  Is it any wonder that the church continues it’s decline, considering that a mere disagreement with a Christian is construed to be an attack on religious liberty?

It seems silly to have to explain this, but your First Amendment rights mean you have the right to say what you want.  It also means that others have the right to say what they want.  Free speech rights do not protect you from people saying they disagree with you.

When we don’t act like we understand that, we look like dopes.

Now, the Fortnight for Freedom has more to do with the USCCB’s snit with HHS over reproductive issues. It’s still not a war on religious liberty.  It’s figuring out that your religious rights stop at someone else’s reproductive system.

So, I mean, come on.  Let’s act like adults who understand that we don’t always get our way, and not petulant children who throw fits when we don’t.

*dismounts soapbox*

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Notes From The Pastor’s Office #25 – Capoeira

 

In this episode, I share with you my experiences with street capoeira.

Enjoy!

It's not the last of my Brazil specials, but it's a more entertaining one.

 

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Video From the Pastor’s Office #21 – “Chuck Norris’ Puny God”

I compare Chuck Norris to a dainty butterfly in this episode. Let's see if I survive.

Here's a link to the article I reference in the video:

http://www.wnd.com/2013/03/36-examples-of-religious-liberty-assault-part-2/m

 

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In Fourteen-Hundred and Ninety-Two: A New Pneumonic Device

 

My beautiful wife put a History Channel 2013 desk calendar in my stocking at Christmas. As a history nerd, it was right up my alley.

Today, it gave me some inspiration. (see photo above)

We all know in what year Christopher set sail for foreign lands to pillage indigenous peoples, but my History calendar gave me a new fact.

Evidently, the same year in which the crown sent Columbus to a new world, they began to dismiss Jews from the country (Spain) – en masse. Even in my pastoral, post-Easter stupor, I have found a bit of inspiration.

Maybe schoolchildren can begin to learn my new learning rhyme:

In Fourteen-Hundred and Ninety-Two

Spain began to expel their Jews

However, given the vehement anti-semitism evident in a chain of events such as this, I think this one captures the essence of the event:

In Fourteen-Hundred and Ninety-Two

The Spanish expelled their filthy Jews

Alright, you can go back to your naps, now.

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“Do You Read the FOX News Version of the Bible?”

This is one of the best quotes I’ve heard in a while.

This quote was uttered by Dr. Mark Lamont Hill to Bill O’Reilly on his show.  It was in response to the outlandish – and ignorant by default – statement made by O’Reilly; and you will see it in this clip:

“Jesus was killed over taxes.”

Wrong.

Real quick, Jesus was killed for being a threat to Roman and Jewish leadership, and Jesus encouraged people to pay taxes (“give to Caesar what is Caesar’s” – Mark 12.17).  If Bill will remember, Pilate gave the crowds a chance to free Jesus (John 18.40).  If they really wanted him for tax-related issues (a ridiculous claim made by the cable “news” host), he would have gone down without that little opportunity for escape.

Not to mention the fact that Pilate also found him not guilty (John 19.6).

Only in the FNT (FOX News Translation) Bible can it be found that Jesus was killed over the issue of taxes.

Bill O’Reilly.  Bad Catholic.  Bad journalist.  Bad historian.

Unfortunately, the fact that he is bad at his many jobs doesn’t preclude him from being able to write another “history” book.  This time, he is taking on the subject of Jesus in his “Killing…” series.

His book about Jesus should be about as historically accurate as Quentin Tarantino’s portrayal of the death of Hitler in Inglorious Basterds.  

Remember the outrage over the artist who submerged a crucifix in urine – literally called Piss Christ?  I believe there should be similar outrage over this “book.”

Oh, and don’t forget, NatGeo – the cable channel named for National Geographic magazine – is working on a TV version.  Why not?  They produced his other two, widely historically panned books.

I will read this book, only so that I may get in on the long lone of critiques this book will face.

It appears more and more obvious that these types of attacks from the likes of O’Reilly and Barton are going to have to be met with critiques by the adults in the room.  Why are the critics the adults?  Because, the truly childish thing these people do is produce this razor-thin dreck for the highest possible monetary return.

Good day.

P.S. Check out what my friend, Joel, wrote about it.

Election of Francis I Means Rome Wants Reform – But What Kind?

  Early indications are that Pope Francis I is someone who appeals to a wide audience.  That’s not to say he’s a moderate, just that he can appeal to that broad middle ground. The National Catholic Reporter put together biographies of the candidates for Pope – in the days running up to the conclave.  The

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Where Those Who Hate Meet To Date – WestboroMingle.com

As I look out my window this morning, all I see is the grey expanse of the heavens and the saturated ground below them.  Not to mention, it’s Monday…morning…after losing an hour of sleep…during Lent.

I needed a laugh.

Thanks to The New Civil Rights Movement, I found it.

Please enjoy Westboro Mingle!

“Books…awe!”

Happy Monday, everyone!

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The Daddy’s Day Harlem Shake by The Tiedeman’s

What do you get when you mix a daddy's day with a viral Internet fad? This!

 

You're welcome:)

Notes From The Pastor’s Office #9 – “Hooper vs. Gibson”

The 9th episode of the 2nd generation of my vlog is up and ready for your perusal. I am looking at what two movies have to tell us about “salvation.” If you're a fan of The Passion of the Christ, my apologies in advance. Enjoy.  

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